Desk

So here I am.  At this desk.  The desk that was my Grandfather's.  A Grandfather, who seems often forgot in my mind's eye.  Maybe because I didn't really know him, or maybe because I really knew him and he laid out life in front of him to see it for what it was.  Something to be experienced. Something to give effort to, find service in, and ultimately build love and expand happiness.  Truly I am not sure where the drive of my curiosity arises.  I am not a great deal like anyone else in my family.  That point is becoming painfully more obvious as the years pass by.  

But...

I have this desk.  I have the eye of my mind.  I have my effort.  I have my time.  I have my soul.  Most importantly I have the world to explore.  Slowly I am connecting the dots, building the foundation, and chipping away at the fear.  

"We all have wings... but some of us... don't know why."

DK

500 Words

Ok.  I'm starting something here.  Something that I will be disciplined enough to follow through on.  My goal is to write an average of 500 words a day, and then eventually ramp that up to 1000 after 6 months and 500 more ever 6 months afterwards.  Through the discipline of feeding my passion I will feed my productivity.  I do love expressing myself, and I do love exploring the world.    Using writing as a medium, I will refine both of these processes. 

When it comes to writing about any topic, I need to feel it in my bones.  I need to know the love and passion I feel connects me and drives me to something that is deeper and a little larger than myself.  

There are a lot of avenues that connect me to this.  This is what this website is about.  It could be hockey, hydrology, geography, or photography.  They all connect in the core of who I am.  Most importantly I need to write for myself.  When I write for myself I will bring these elements together and achieve the destination of where I want to arrive.  The place of who I am and the place of what I want to accomplish. 

Road of Thunder

Listening to Thunder  Road, live in 1975 of Bruce's 1st performance ever in England at the Hammerstein Odeon is extremely visceral and tactile. He writes, sings, and plays from the core of his experience. Blue collar working class. The endeavour of the endeavour.

 

His core of consciousness is rooted in his experience.  Most people don't make it out of their experience to become conscious, let alone enlightened when they arise from dysfunctional circumstances, settings, or time periods.

In Thunder Road he expressed the effects and questions of watching your friends & peers die in Vietnam.

 

"So you’re scared and you’re thinking

That maybe we ain’t that young anymore"

 

Suffering sucks youth right out the window pretty fuckin quickly.

For me, I find process in persevering my consciousness to have faith in the truth & complexity of reality as I try to take part in the building of a foundation of progress  and the knocking down of the walls of ignorance one brick at a time.  I try to remind myself not to hide and study my pain. Expand by demand and grow each day towards a better tomorrow.

"You can hide ’neath your covers and study your pain

Make crosses from your lovers, throw roses in the rain

Waste your summer praying in vain

For a saviour to rise from these streets

Well now I’m no hero, that’s understood

All the redemption I can offer, girl, is beneath this dirty hood

With a chance to make it good somehow

Hey what else can we do now?"

The Sacred Game

I'm not sure exactly when I stopped caring about the World Junior Hockey Championships.

I think it was after the 2010 tourney in Saskatoon.  I realized here that the only countries that ever consistently fund, prioritize, and dominate the tournament are Canada and the United States. However, Canada is the only place that really cares.

I have also come to realize that the complete corporate exploitation of every aspect of the tournament really put a pretty red bow on my realization that major junior hockey can be a horrifying and exploitive industry that preys on some of humanities best attributes like sportsmanship and team work for the betterment of the entrenched business model of the game.  Major Junior fronts itself as being for the betterment of the game itself, but it doesn't care about that.  Why do teams leave communities after decades if the betterment of the game is most important? 

Major Junior is a microcosm of professional hockey cloaked in innocent virtue.  It is primarily concerned with the ego of business and commoditizing the sacred attributes of the game.  There are those that will argue this point, but our society swims in a sea of commodified sacredness and we breath the water through our conditioned gills. 

I remember a quote from Kurt Cobain where he said few people actually really and truely like music, and most of those people are musicians.  I believe hockey has a similar connection with people.  Millions watch the game, few feel the depth of the connection in their bones.  More often then not, those who feel this depth are the people who cannot help by play, read, write, or discuss the game.  

I recall as a child in grade school going to the washroom only to find two separate boys from different classes that made a pact during recess to both ask to go to the washroom at the same time to play hockey with rulers and erasers on the washroom floor.  This took some dedication.  It is evidence of the whimsical childhood sensibilities that compose the game of hockey.   A game for the sake of play.  These sensibilities instill Canadian culture with something that is impossible to measure on a balance sheet. Unfortunately, it is not impossible to corrode and destroy that which is sacred by distorting purposes and selling off emotional connections piece by piece by piece by piece. 

Wearing the Cross of my calling

Sometimes it just feels good to write. To feel and hear the keys clicking, or that scratch and wave as the ink etches, pours, and streaks from the pen.  It's cathartic in a way.  In ways, I suppose, we don't even understand.  

There are just so many thoughts burning through my brain, that I hope to organize, I hope to pin down. But in reality, it's about realizing the perfection of the moment, because we're not guaranteed another.  Despite all that is wrong with the world, or our life, there is a ton of good stuff as well.  The challenges we face are enormous, but when hasn't that been the case.   I there is one thing I must believe in this life, it is that the perseverance of optimism must never relent.  Let the greatest challenge in life be the response to the beauty we witness in the world.